Self Destruction...

I feel better about myself knowing that the reason I am going
through what I am, is simply because I have to much time to think... I know
that I am loved, but for some reason, when I don't get attention, I get
weird and find attention places I should, or I'll tell some outrageous
lies just to get it... When you do stuff like that, it's a form a self
destruction... You basically find yourself at a lost for something, or
someone, and you end up betraying either them, or yourself.. When that
happens, you don't think, or care for that matter, about consequences.
Ultimately you lose. You become now on the outside looking in, and
wonder why do you do that to yourself, and then you realize that you do
it because you're not a happy person, and you don't really know what
real happiness offers, so you sabotage yourself and go back to your sad
place...I am now understand that if I want to be happy in my life, I
need to make my life happy... It won't do it itself, so changes have to
be made, and you must have faith in yourself that it can indeed happen,
and thus it will...Truth be told, things happen for a reason, and if
you didn't learn the first time, you'll continually do the same things
and have the same results until changes have been made.. So here's a
thought and lyrics to think about.. This is the group Staind....


EVERYTHING CHANGES

If you just walked away
What could I really say?
Would it matter anyway?
Would it change how you feel?

I am the mess you chose
The closet you cannot close
The devil in me I suppose
'Cause the wounds never heal

But everything changes
If I could
Turn back the years
If you could
Learn to forgive me
Then I could learn to feel

Sometimes the things I say
In moments of disarray
Succumbing to the games we play
To make sure that it's real

But everything changes
If I could
Turn back the years
If you could
Learn to forgive me
Then I could learn to feel

When it's just me and you
Who knows what we could do
If we can just make it through
The toughest part of the day

But everything changes
If I could
Turn back the years
If you could
Learn to forgive me
Then I could
Learn how to feel
Then we could
Stay here together
And we could
Conquer the world
If we could
Say that forever
Is more than just a word

If you just walked away
What could I really say?
And would it matter anyway?
It wouldn't change how you feel...

Casper69 wrote: You become now on the outside looking in, and
wonder why do you do that to yourself, and then you realize that you do
it because you're not a happy person, and you don't really know what
real happiness offers, so you sabotage yourself and go back to your sad
place...I am now understand that if I want to be happy in my life, I
need to make my life happy...

a good friend of mine told me years ago when I was on this same path this very same advice.. I will always be indebted to her for this advice.. it was the beginning of a strength I found in myself.. And it helped me grow as a person as well as create in me a person that others enjoyed being around..

exactly... and even though I'm in it at the very moment, I do have a place...